Agent Bert
by SharkySheep
Summary: Bert is back and his eyes are again watching the goings on in the lab, so what is his view on the strange things that look like everyday objects to us? Does he like the other agents?
1. Yankee White

Yankee White

Don't own characters, or make money so please don't sue.

**Thank you everyone for your reviews on The Life of Bert, you made me want to write this!**

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**Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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I make funny noises, it makes some people laugh, throw their heads back and laugh making their bellies jiggle, and I like it. Some people frown; pull their faces into lines, large lines that go on and on and on… They mumble and lift their noses high, clicking their heels as they turn on their way out.

I like making the noises around them, the faster they leave is fine by me.

Some people look around confused, I like that reaction most. Like it's a big mystery and they can't figure out what is going on. They never work out that it's me, why would a hippo make a noise so… amusing. So instead they look around for the next possible source, then shrug it off thinking whoever it was has left already.

Silly humans, they do make me laugh.

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****Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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I live in the Lab, its cool, has lots of shiny clean surfaces that sparkle and gleam, with lots of big mechanicals that hum from an unseen force, electrickery. My owner Gothy lives here, most of the time. I think she also spends some time in another Lab or something, but I think she prefers it here, with me and my noises.

Gothy has friends, I like them, they visit me sometimes, the one who comes the most is Italian Man, he make funny noises too sometimes, mostly when Boss Man hits him across the head, like a squeaking toy, he makes noises a lot, funny man, nice man.

Boss Man visits too, he brings gifts to Gothy that makes her lively. She drinks from the long stick a lot, and it makes her talk really really fast and move speedily around the Lab.

The Quack comes down sometimes to see us but not that much usually he sends his assistant Gerbil, I like him a bit, he doesn't stay very long but I know he is a good human.

The Lab also is the heart of everything here; I feel the heartbeat when Gothy comes in and turns all the mechanicals on. It moves through me, the beat strong and consuming, it changes slightly throughout the day but it still beats until Gothy leaves.

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****Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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Today Gothy comes in dressed really cool, she slides on her white coat and sets to work with a small hand held mechanical object that sends out a blue light. She moves it over a white uniform. Italian Man comes in carrying lots of boxes with clear force fields around them holding them in place.

On the force fields are words, letters, initials, I think they call them ever-dense… Italian Man stubbles slightly as I let out my funny noise, but then he calls Gothy and they go to look at the ever-dense, I think that's what they call them, yes it must be. They talk for a while, I think Italian Man said 'curse you' to Gothy and she laughed, he now is pulling out something, and lying down.

He makes funny noise eventually, and Gothy smiles as she carries on working with the mechanicals that hum and gleam in the Lab.

Sooner or later Italian Man gets up to leave and then after a little while longer Gothy leaves as well, she looks excited, I think she and the mechanicals have found something, I let out a funny noise in victory.

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****Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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Gothy sounds down, like she knows she's missing something, she's talking to The Quack, and they both seem slightly confused. I don't think they have found their ever-dense to solve the case. Around the Lab I've heard snippets of conversation, I think the case is on a plain, or is plain…

I'm not so sure but if it's the first I imagine it to be big, as humans go on it. I also think it would be shiny, a cousin of the mechanicals, so it would hum with the electrickery. It would have shiny gleaming feathers and wings that flapped to keep it up, and it would have many eyes at the front so it could see where to go.

I think I'd like the plain. Gothy mentioned the pressed-dint, I don't know why anyone would press something to dint it but if it's been mentioned it must be important.

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****Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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Abby sighs as the mechanicals let out a negative sound; she moves to load yet another small glass vile into the mouth of one of them.

She waits spinning sharp shiny sis-oars; the mechanical again lets out a negative noise. Waiting again, the mechanical eventually makes a funny noise that has Gothy jumping up and down, I think she has found her ever-dense and I let out a funny noise to tell her I'm proud, she smiles and pats my head before moving to a plastic communicator.

She is talking about venom; I think I hear the Boss Man and The Quack, I hear Italian Man say Gothy would have found it sooner if he hadn't been carrying all those force fields with shiny objects.

Poor Italian Man, I'll make two funny noises to make him smile the next time he visits.

The communicator goes dead, and Abby starts to turn the heartbeat up, dancing and jumping, I sway slightly to the heartbeat, it tickles my legs.

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****Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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There's a new person, she's called Cake. I do like Cake.

Sweet things are for happy occasions, and I like happy occasions, I let out another funny noise in the Lab, the heartbeat has gone for the day.

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****Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert Agent Bert **

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Okay so what do you all think? 


	2. Hung Out to Dry

**Hung Out to Dry**

**Don't own the characters, don't make money... (bla bla...) Don't sue. **

**THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS:D**

**X**

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Gothy is being creative, she does this quite a lot; she uses a mechanical that makes a flash and connects it to another mechanical. She takes the mechanicals hand and moves it around making things morph and then the mechanical spits it out when she's happy with it. She puts it up on the wall, and Italian Man comes wondering in, he looks confused as she replaced another hanging that was there before, but his face changes and he smiles, he likes it.

I think to myself that usually people take a while to get used to changes but Italian Man does it quickly, as if he had many changes in his life to get used to. Gothy and Italian Man look at it for a while, talking away. Sometimes I just like to listen to them.

Boss Man and Cake walk in then though, and Gothy takes them to the mechanicals brain, which stands in the center of the Lab, they must be looking at more ever-dense. I amuse myself with a little funny noise; Italian Man hears and raises his eyebrows but then turns to listen once more to what Gothy has to say.

Cake says something which makes Gothy talk about rats frying, I like that image and I listen a little closer, Boss Man says something, Cake joins in and Italian Man… he looks really confused so pulls a face. I laugh at them, they are amusing to watch, but then they all move into the other room.

I can't hear them from the other room so I sit and let my eyes wander around the Lab, from what I make out, a human fell from one of those flying plains with cool wings that flap, he did it voluntarily which I find stupid. Why would someone do that?

Basically his soup didn't open, I don't know how soup usually opens and I don't know why he'd jump out of a plain without making sure his soup would open, but he did. Silly humans, they sure do make me laugh sometimes.

I watch as the Boss Man leads Cake and Italian Man out the Lab, they look like they have a lead; it must be invisible as I sure don't see it. Hmm… I don't really see a lot of things these humans talk about.

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Gothy is in the Lab with Cake running lots of the mechanicals, I let the hum wind it's way through me and mingle with the heartbeat. The mechanical makes a beep and Gothy starts spinning off about something called sull-fewer-ick acid. I don't really get this, why do people actually use things that have 'ick' in them, surely they must realise that it's not going to be very nice.

I roll my eyes, or I think I do, I'm still not too sure if it happens or if I just think it does. But enough about that, Cake is wearing a white coat like Gothy and has a huge smile on her face, she has just asked Gothy how she got into 'this'. I think she's talking about all the mechanicals and that, Fur N Sticks. That's what Gothy does, and does very well, Gothy tells her that she just filled out a foam.

As I say time and time again, humans say some silly things, how can anyone fill out foam, it's white and bubbly so if you do anything to it, all that happens is it eventually disappears. Why would you do something that doesn't last is beyond me!

Gothy is telling her she likes puzzles, I like puzzles too, and all this that goes on in the Lab is one huge puzzle to me… the world outside must be messed up! I can tell Cake and Gothy are going to be really good friends.

I like Cake.

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Gothy is looking crazy at the moment, she has lots of strings and is running a blue light over them, Boss Man, Cake and Italian Man are here and she's talking about skin cells… Seriously, skin cells, cells that people lock skin up in. Why? I'm not sure but apparently it could lead to the person who leaves behind the ever-dense.

They all look, happy… I wish I had one of the mechanicals that make a flash and eventually spit out a picture. It would be a nice one, the making of a good team.

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Abby has return to the Lab, she has a Dee and A sample, she puts it in the mechanical and it hums again in response. I wonder what it thinks about everything, I wonder how it would see everything. It must be strange, I guess the humans see things so differently too. Boss Man, Cake and Italian Man interrupt just as Gothy begins to do a celebration dance; I let out a quick noise in response.

Boss Man asks to see the backup soup, why would someone carry two soups with them? Gothy first shows them something on a flat mechanical that changes colors and shows different images. They mention something about 'der rugs'; the suspect has been cutting them and dealing them to others. Strange thing to do if you ask me, but I guess no one is.

Boss Man is checking the soups now, they're not what I imagined humans to eat, but I suppose I can't really comment, they probably taste really nice. He doesn't seem impressed with it though and asks to see another one, now he's talking about humans swapping the soup, after the man had jumped.

I think the ever-dense has led them to their suspect. Cool another one solved. The Boss Man leads Italian Man and Cake out the Lab, I watch Gothy doing her 'woohoo we did it again' dance and I let out my funny noise in victory.

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I hear words floating through the air, apparently Italian Man fell out of the mechanical plain, and he hurt his leg, but not badly. People are saying he was pushed accidentally out of it but he enjoyed himself on the way down.

The landing was when he hurt his leg, but it's only a spring. The next time I see him I think, 'he isn't jumping like he has a spring', I guess it's another of those silly things humans say as he seems more stiff than anything, he has a slight limp, but he smiles at Gothy and she turns the heartbeat off, leaving the Lab in darkness.

I shut my eyes.

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**There you are, the next one. Hope you like it as much, any suggestions welcome!** _Any ideas for other stories also welcome!_


	3. Seadog

**Seadog**

_**A HUGE MASSIVE THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED - WOW!**_

Don't own characters, don't make money, don't sue!

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It's dark, but I see Gothy walking in. She looks nice again, which isn't anything new, but I think about it anyway. She turns the heartbeat on and it starts to move through me, making me feel. She swivels on her heals and starts to wake up the mechanicals, which hum in acknowledgement.

Then she sits on a swinging object, and scrunches her face up in boredom… she doesn't seem to have much to do so I drift off…

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…Whoopee, I cheer as people walk into my Gothy's Lab, but she isn't here, she must have left to find something to do. I'm not really sure what that means but Boss Man and Cake are talking to a 'soot?' I think that's what they call them sometimes, in my opinion it's probably because they mess things up and make things dirty. Everyone knows soot gets everywhere. 

They're on one of the mechanicals that has a big long thin scream that they look at things on. There looking at Doll-errs, why anyone would make something to play with that was disgusting to look at… yikes, but they are. Soot Man looks… well boring, he is wearing a plain tie that screams absolutely boring and he talks with pretty much no expression, like I said, boring.

Cake is telling them about Mike-row preening? I can just picture Mike now, in one of those wooding cups that float on water and you move around by creating awe from people… he is also one of those guys that want to look perfect, a modern man? So he's in the wooding cup and he's preening himself… silly man!

Cake is telling boring soot that 'it's good enough to stop high school kids but not rouge countries or a few of the worlds top forgers' then on the mechanical she zooms into the image and brings up the word 'untied states of America', I sit a wiggle my thumbs, or I would if I had them, so instead I hum a little tune… hummm hum hummm…

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...Ooooo Italian Man is in the Lab, he's looking at the mechanical trying to find a mistake but I don't think he can see it, I see the others roll their eyes a little, but don't say anything. They let him simmer… I thought that's what they did to food? Cake tells him that 'you think a man who can find a heron in a horse's ass could find this', and yet again I'm confused, aren't horses and ass's from the same family, like donkeys, and what's a fish got to do with anything? 

Soot smiles though and asks Italian Man why he reached into a horse's ass; I didn't know that animals could own others? But he said he wore a glove, like it makes a difference! I make a funny noise and everyone looks around at each other, but it gives Italian Man the chance to move the conversation onwards, and he asks what's wrong with untied states of America, I sigh, they're being slightly condescending in my opinion as I didn't even notice at first and a lot of people wouldn't have, but Cake circles untied magically with one of the mechanicals, and I 'ooooo' in awe, it's bright red… I zone out for a while…

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There talking about boats, those wooding cup things that float… I marvel at the things I've learned lately, apparently humans have a lot of ways to travel in this era. There also talking about bringing in a dirt bag, but I don't think they should do that. Gothy likes her lab clean and sparkling and so do I. If they bring it in they could mess up the Lab and the mechanicals might growl and become unhappy. They already have soot in the Lab I it's messing the place up, so a bag of dirt is going to really do some damage!

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Boss Man is asking Cake if there is anyone at her old agency she can trust… I get bored and watch Italian Man… Yey, my Gothy is in the other room, she must have slipped by me. She bangs on a clear force field that separates the rooms, I think they call them wind O's, she looks happy and is waving her arms frantically back and forth. 

Italian Man looks happy and Boss Man smiles slightly. Now she and Boss Man are making strange shapes with their hands back and forth. It must be some sort of language, Italian Man acts slightly confused at first but when he realises what there doing he pulls a funny face, I toot in response, I don't think he understands them and I find myself correct again when he asks Boss Man what he's doing, he looks like such a little boy, who's not being allowed to play with the other children.

I feel sorry for him, but I'm also interested in what the others are doing with the shapes they keep making. That is until I realise that I also don't understand what is happening, and now I know how Italian Man feels. I feel left out. So I huff. They move into the main room of the Lab, where I am, and at least there speaking loudly now, although there still using the weird shapes with their hands, I wish they would stop, I feel left out, and I can tell Italian Man feels the same.

Don't they realise they're being mean! With a mumbled and confused "Seadog?" Italian Man follows Boss Man out the lab, leaving Gothy behind. I watch for a little while as she turns back to the mechanicals and starts humming to herself.

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Gothy has gone up 'there', I'm not sure where 'there' is but I know that the stairs go up to it, and so does and elevator… I think it's a big metal cage that people go in, and it goes up and down… don't ask! So once again I'm left in the Lab to twiddle my thumbs or whatever they are, whilst everyone goes about their daily or nightly business… I picture Italian Man, when people talk of him they mainly joke about the amount of nightly business that he does, but I know the truth, most of his nightly business is spent up there, typing away. 

He does come down to see me sometimes though, I see him wander around the Lab, looking at everything… just thinking, like me he enjoys time to think and where better to think than Gothy's shiny Lab.

When he leaves, I sleep, making a quick funny noise as a goodnight, he makes the same funny noise back.

We're on the same level.

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So there's the next one... Again, thank you for all the reviews, X 


	4. The Immortals

**The Immortals**

**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS**

Don't own characters, don't make money. Don't Sue!

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A seaman has been found dead, a man… made entirely from water has been found dead and the team are trying to find out why. I've never actually seen the sea before, and Gothy isn't really a water kind of girl, she likes the Caff-Pow's, but even then I'm not sure what those look like either, they come in a container though, so they must try to escape or something, so she uses a stick to drink it up.

The seaman was took down to gore-topsy for The Quack to look at, I never get to see what any of the humans or sea people look like, but the ever-dense that is on them is brought up to the Lab for Gothy to puzzle over. There are lots of different kinds of ever-dense's but this seaman brings with him something I have never seen before. It's shiny like most things but it's slightly different.

Gothy is standing looking at a mechanical and I can see Boss Man and others looking back at her. I have no idea how it's done. Maybe they shrink and are swallowed up by a mechanical…

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…Gothy says they found a Saint Christopher medal on the seaman and she also takes a closer look at a piece of pay-pa! Apparently it's some sort of a character charter for a MMORPG game or something, whatever it is looks faded and I can hardly make it out. I shake my head in wonder as i actually somehow know what an MMORPG is... The Boss Man has no idea though and asks her what she's talking about. I think I hear Italian Man and Cake trying to explain it to him.

Gothy is telling him that it's basically a list of the carrot-tore's creed and mortal stance?!? I have _NO_ clue about those! But apparently there are usually more than 1000 players on one site alone at any given time on some of the more popular ones. Italian Man mentions computer geeks and I laugh a little as I've not heard that term before, I start whispering 'geek' many times in my head, over and over...

The Boss Man is asking Gothy if these games are violent and Gothy mentions something about poison and stabbing, so I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I've never heard those words I don't think… and Gothy doesn't make them sound bad. I hear Cake's voice from one of the mechanicals and she's talking about ever-dense in sigh-ber space?

They start talking a little too quickly for me then and eventually when my brain does catch up Gothy is talking about a sore that the man made from water was carrying. It had nicks in it so the man must have been fighting with it.

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I see Gothy is playing with one of the mechanicals and I can just see its face. I learnt recently that the square that shows colours and emotions are called faces. I think it most be one of those…Em-m or ah-pea-gee games they were talking about, for some reason i can't recall clearly what they are called, all I see is a purple thing carrying a stick. Gothy is looking really intensely at it and I'm pretty sure it has her complete attention.

Every now and then she sucks in a breath but most of the time it's been quiet… until now. She's starting to get a little more involved in it. I turn when I hear the doors swish open and I see The Quack has come down to see us. Gothy, turns and says a quick hello to him but when she turns back she lets out a "damn". I think she must have failed or something… She starts to talk to the Quack about slaying two gnomes and an ogre's…?

I shake my head, sometimes these words can give me a bit of a headache and when I turn back The Quack has started to say that the game reminds him or something. He stops after that and I watch as his face is turned up and he's searching for something inside his head. I can tell this because his eyes are turned upwards as if he's physically looking but of cause I know this can't be the actual case. Or can it. Now I'm really confused because I have heard others talking about how The Quack has a special ability… anyway he eventually looks back at Gothy and tells her that he actually can't think of anything that it reminds him of.

They both laugh at this and The Quack appears to be leaving…

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Gothy is again at the mechanical's face... and again I hear the door swish and The Quack is coming to visit us. He carry's with him a Caff-Pow and puts it down in front of Gothy. I know for a fact that Gothy loves gifts so I let out a funny noise as a thank you but I don't think he hears it. I must be too far away from them.

Gothy is telling him that she needs to get to the 'keep' as when she gets there, she'll then be able to say if the man of water was playing this game. I see The Quack smile and he pushes the Caff-Pow closer to her, telling her it might help, then he pats her gently on the shoulder like a loving uncle and leaves... I miss him already.

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After what seems like ages, Gothy is on the mechanical that makes voices travel further… she's talking to the Boss Man and is telling him that the water man played on 'The Immortals'. She then mentions that the character that he was fighting the most in the game was traced back, and he actually also logs on from the ship. I think a ship is like one of those floating wooden cups but only bigger.

Anyway Gothy seems really happy about this and I watch her hands play with the mechanicals curling tail, it's springy. I laugh to myself.

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Gothy seems very busy today, her Lab is abuzz with a loud heartbeat; she's looking at the mechanical's face that is showing the seaman's 'bog?' 'Log?' I didn't really listen to closely but I see her roll her eyes and sigh, I think it's going to take her a while to look through it all…

…A mechanical eventually beeps and I see Gothy reaching for the communication voice thing again. She is ringing the Boss but I hear Cake answer instead. Gothy doesn't seem to care, she likes Cake like I do, she tells her she found a die-airy but that it's going to take ages to get through.

My eyes widen, I don't think I could stand spending all ages looking at the same thing, but luckily Cake offers to do it for her. Phew! That was a close one! I can tell Gothy thinks so too as she does a celebratory swing on her chair, I bob my head and to my surprise it actually moves.

Rock on!

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I watch as Gothy rings The Quack and tells him she matched the soil from under the nails of the seaman to the floor of the o'shun. I think this is good news but The Quack just nods once and tells her he'll pass it on to Boss Man.

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The case has been solved and I think the team are making there way back to the building but The Quack is sitting with Gothy and he tells her that he's still confused. Gothy asks him where he got lost in the whole thing, but he tells her basically from the beginning. I hear McDonald and Zouger mentioned, and then other names that I can't pronounce way-lin? Kill-far-us?

Now it's me who's confused, I think Gothy said that they used to fight on sigh-ber space then started fighting in real life. She tells The Quack that McDonald won; Zouger got angry and went back to beating McDonald on sigh-ber space in The Immortals. Gothy then says that things changed, Zouger realised that McDonald was 'not all there', invisible, and challenges him to prove he was immortal by putting weights around his waist, jumping ship and walking across the bottom of the bay to dry land.

Crazy!

Gothy and The Quack both seem to agree with me on that, and they both leave the Lab, Gothy turning everything off as she goes.

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I suddenly realise that I actually followed most of what was said. I followed what happened, although still thought that one or both of the water people were crazy.

Bobbing my head to celebrate this new discovery I smile to myself… I think maybe I might be acting a little crazy bobbing my head a little too much but I push those thoughts aside… then wish I hadn't.

I fall off the shelf… ow!

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So another chapter up in the same night, enjoy X 


	5. The Curse

Don't OWN ANYTHING OR MAKE MONEY! DON'T SUE. thanks

**Sorry for the exceptionally long wait, really sorry! X (thanks for reminding me Special Agent Ali, lol )**

**_The Curse_**

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Now usually I don't mind having a bit of alone time but it felt like forever before Gothy came skipping back into the lab to pick me up after I guess a few days. She didn't forget about me or anything, I guess she just didn't see me at first. She must have been low on that thing she drinks using a straw.

Anyway, I was just glad that I was finally back on my shelf. Home is home, it doesn't matter where that is exactly. But yet again I'm off track, it's probably because my back hurts from being on the floor for a while… Gothy left the lab quite quickly once I was back in place, she was mumbling at a disturbingly fast rate, something about King tut and mummy's curse, now I'm not someone to usually listen in to everything everyone says but I have no idea why someone who tut's so much should become King, or why a mummy would curse!

Language today is shocking!

So while Gothy is away I've decided to practice my movement skills, I think I just about managed to move a foot but I can't really tell as I haven't worked out how to move my head yet.

Problems always happening in circles!

Gothy doesn't seem to be in the lab at all as much today. I see her running into the lab and then running back out just as fast, but she seems to be in high spirit. She's smiling and jumping up and down every so often letting out a little squeak now and then, so I assume she's happy.

Although she does mention something about no dints in the pod…I have nooooo idea what a pod is, but I guess they must usually have dints in them?

Gothy is doing cartwheels around the lab, she talking to us all as she turns her music up, telling us that it's the husband. Apparently husbands do it a lot, but supposedly not as much as women, but they are smarter. Well, that's what Gothy said because the women don't get caught as much.

So as I'm pretty much left in the lab with few distractions I go back to practicing my movements. I definitely managed to move a leg, now I just need to move the other…

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...Fell off the shelf again, guess I should practice moving backwards so I don't fall head first, but I did manage a couple of spins whilst I fell. Does that mean I get 10 points? Okay, back to moving, I have it pretty much figured out, if I think I want to move left then my back right leg moves…

Gothy seems to be mumbling something about a Nib Lick? She went to see the Quack and now she keeps repeating it, over and over, Nib Lick, Nib Lick, Nib Lick… On and on, I think she's gone insane. I'm just keeping an eye out for the drool, apparently it's a good sign of insaneness, or that you're a baby.

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Voices are saying that it's not the husband, I can't quite make out who is saying it but it's not him. Well, it's not the present husband who is married to the wife of the past husband whose dead and used to work with the present husband… makes a lot of sense.

I watch as Gothy is actually working in the Lab. I see her frown as she uses a blue mechanical stick that shines a bright blue light out from one end. I think she has found something but before I can even think about letting out a little toot the Boss Man walks in and Gothy tells him that she should have played Beethoven, the Boss Man looks playfully confused for a second before replying 'you mean it's not?'

He really is a joker that man, he likes to make fun of people using confused expressions or the 'you think!' he does so much, but I see the twitch of a smile.

Gothy is also good at reading the Boss Man though so they share a little laugh together, even I smile.

Boss Man then asks about the oil stain, but apparently Gothy isn't too sure what it is but remarks that its only on one side of the shirt, I think that might be important as Boss Man then mentions that it's on the same side that the Quack found the hairline fractures.

I don't really understand as I thought your hairline was on your head, but the jacket was worn on your body? Gothy seems not to notice this though and pretends to be hurt that the Boss Man went to the Quack before her.

The Boss Man seems to take a sour note with Gothy then, I think he really just wants the ever dense now, as he asks her if there's some sort of priority he doesn't know about… Gothy smiles though and like you'd expect out of a daughter or young person just replies that a girl likes to be thought of first.

I watch as the Boss Man seems to relax and smile, then they both walk into the other section of the lab, which I'm glad about as it gives me a better view to watch.

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They're again looking at one of those mechanicals that displays really pretty colours, this time it has bright red on it… I've never seen a red like it before. Gothy comments to Boss Man that she isn't sure if it's synthetic or natural but it's definitely a fibre. She then asks what is orange in the navy.

I watch as Boss Man's eyes move up to the sky, I can tell he's thinking quite hard but all he comes out with are 'life jackets'. So I'm guessing that if someone takes one of these jackets off then they end up with the Quack on one of those tables. But then Gothy asks really randomly if the mummy's shoes were found in the hold with the life jackets.

I don't know why shoes would be hugging life jackets, maybe they think like me too… they want company. Maybe.

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I get distracted at this point thinking about these new things I've learnt but then I get distracted again by the coloured bottles in Gothy's lab, all their different shapes and colours, lined up on the shelf. I like the green one best; it looks like a blob and keeps my gaze for longer than most.

When I look back Gothy and the Boss Man have moved, he tells her something about lowering the fresh hold by given her a name and serial number to match up with, that's when I notice lots of squiggles are on one of the mechanicals in a circular sort of shape, some sort of print.

I think the Boss Man wants Gothy to match them up to someone, but I already know who did it. Mr Squiggles must have done it; he's the only blue person I know that has a similar pattern. I don't think he'll be too hard to miss; he usually spends time with all the other Mr Men.

Gothy makes a funny 'O' noise and in a sarcastic manner says that 'that might help' so the Boss Man leaves, but not before shooting me a confused gaze, I think he knows I've moved.

* * *

I watch sleepily as Gothy is on her smaller mechanical searching for the squiggle print match up. Boss Man comes in and hands her coffee in a plain white force field but she doesn't take it straight away, instead says something about it probably matching up with her right middle finger at a guess, I think she's talking about the squiggle prints, she still hasn't figured out its Mr Squiggle.

Then she says thank you to the Boss Man and takes the drink. She moves into the main mechanical part of the lab and says she's matched the fibre with an orange canvas that doesn't match up with the life jackets.

Boss Man then says something about it being the mail bag and dashes out. When he leaves, Gothy says 'orange mail bag cool!'

I think somehow, the case has been solved, it went way over my head, I was sure it was Mr Squiggles!

* * *

Okay there's the next one... it feels like it's been years since the last, but hope this makes up for it X 


	6. High Seas

**High Seas**

Don't own anything but my imagination. The characters aren't mine and I don't make money. So no suing!

* * *

You will never guess what, I can walk so much better now, and I don't even fall down anymore. It's great! I feel an odd sense of adventure and smugness that I have achieved something all by myself. So, it is on one of my little trips now that I manage to overhear my Gothy talking about someone called Stan Burley, I don't know who he is but whoever he is making Gothy talk very fast about how cool he used to be and how she misses him.

I manage to sneak into the elevator as Gothy takes a trip up there. The first time I saw where the other part of the team works was so strange. Everything seems different up here, less shiny and earthier, very peculiar. Anyway, I manage to sneak up to Italian Mans desk and perch in a corner that I can see almost everyone from. Gothy and the Quack are sharing memories in a corner and smiling to each other, but it's poor Italian Man that I'm watching.

He seems like he is… worried? No, nervous, jealous even. I think he feels upset that they talk about how much they miss this Stan Man, but I've never heard the others speak that happily or excitedly about Italian Man. I need to cheer him up; maybe I'll trip this Stan Man when I find him.

I'll cheer him up, I look after my own, not that Italian Man is a Hippo! That would be silly. Gothy is talking about how Stan Man works on a big Chip that floats and is giant. It's on that big water thing, the O'shin. Now Italian Man does seem extremely jealous, I have to make sure to cheer him up.

* * *

Apparently a man made from water was found in a freezer high on Meth. I can picture him high, upon this Meth person, but can't see why he'd want to free her, and standing on top of her is not a way I'd go about it. Some people really aren't smart! They think he might have been spiked, I can totally relate to why someone would spike someone trying to release Meth in that way. Eesh!

* * *

I watch as Italian Man, Cake and Boss Man all grab some things before heading out to meet this Stan Man, and I realise that they're going to him, so I won't be able to trip him. I think of an apology to Italian Man, so I wobble over to Cakes desk and find a small golden bow that I see her unwrap sometime.

What ever is in it, she enjoys eating it. I see her sigh happily whenever she eats them. I pick one up in my mouth and scurry back over to Italian Man's chair and toss it up on his chair.

I don't think Cake would mind.

* * *

Once I'm back in the Lab from throwing myself down the stairs – I missed the elevator that Gothy and the Quack took – I sneak over into a corner to watch Gothy at work. Fortunately as their isn't much work to do, I watch her dance around to the Lab's heartbeat instead.

Mental.

* * *

Apparently there are now two people who where trying to free Meth by getting high on top of her shoulders. Crazy… They are both in the Chip's infirmary and Boss Man and the rest are confused as the two men of water are both denying that they were high. I think it's pretty obvious they are lying as who ever walked in on them would only have to look up and see that they were high on Meth, not to hard to disprove, but they keep saying that they don't use drugs.

What's that got to do with trying to free her?

* * *

Italian Man is on the communicator to Gothy; he sounds confused and is asking her why Boss Man is being so nice to someone. Gothy just rolls her eyes and tells him that he's always nice, but Italian Man seems to ask why he is being so friendly then.

Gothy just tells him not to worry, that Boss Man loves him too, and laughs as Italian Man groans on the other side of the communicator.

They both hang up joking to each other though, they're really good friends.

* * *

Gothy just received news from the Quack that the first man found trying to free Meth has died, his heart stopped. A heart is like one of the mechanicals batteries, all shiny with wires leading out to other places. Boss Man is sending her some U rain samples and the water mans body to the Quack.

Why is nearly everything to do with water? And what sort of rain is this U Rain?

* * *

Boss Man has just sent Gothy some moving pictures of a man handing out white pills to the water crew. He says he wants it enhanced, as he wants to know if the first water man was killed to stop him talking about Meth Amphetamines.

That must be her last name, it's unusual, I wonder where it comes from.

* * *

One the mechanical communicator that shows moving pictures it shows Italian Man and Cake, Gothy is telling them that the first water mans U Rain is clean, but it is also an identical match to the second water mans U Rain. She then suggests that someone had been replacing them, and by the sound of Italian Man and Cake jumping into motion it must be a bad thing.

Gothy is left asking the air if there is 'anything here I can do… wait what should I do with the rest of the pee?" I think my Gothy has yet again solved the case! Rock on!

* * *

Apparently the case is not quite solved as they need ever dence to suggest who was given out Meth to the water crew. Gothy is on the phone with Boss Man and who I think is Stan Man, I make a toot in frustration as I can't trip him. Stan looks around though; I think he thinks Boss Man did it.

Gothy shows them a closer image of the lead water man handing out what she says look like tic tac's but probably aren't to the water crew.

Boss Man nods and tells Gothy she did well before disappearing. I'm certain that means the case is solved…

* * *

Cake is on the communicator with Gothy; she's asking her why Boss Man seems to be acting strange on the Chip with Stan Man. Gothy again seems to roll her eyes and tells Cake not to worry. But Cake says that it's strange watching Boss Man act almost human. Gothy shakes her head and laughs.

Cake then goes on to tell Gothy that they are going to set the lead water man up by getting the last water man of the crew to ask for tic tacs. Apparently the water crew were getting hooked without knowing, so they'll be heading back shortly.

Gothy smiles and tells Cake to "go get 'um" before hanging up.

After what seems like 10 minutes silence Gothy jumps up and punches the air with a "Yoohoo!" I tumble over with shock… strange girl!

* * *

Thanks again for the reviews and being pacient with me - i have no internet for a while so i'm not able to update unless i hike to the library... sorry for the wait, X 


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